It is so hard to wait. I am impatient, and want answers now. And when I don’t get answers I start making plans. See the doctor, eat more healthily, drink more water, this and that and this and that… what’s the saying about the plans of mice and men oft go awry…??? Its like walking… Continue reading Waiting is hard!
Evaluating your Year – 2016 Whilst on holiday, I read a blog post from Jennifer at Unveiled Wife, and I really liked the idea. The idea is to look at your year last year and give a brief evaluation of how your year went. I think, overall, I had a really good year last year. … Continue reading Evaluating your Year – 2016
If you have been reading either one of my blogs (Baby Mama’s Blog and Fragrance of Marriage) you will realise that I have four goals, prayers, desires in my life: Now, I have always had four prayers: That God would protect and nurture my marriage; That God would aid our financial situation and provide for… Continue reading One Foot Forward
I stood shaking and trembling. My fists were clenched tight – I could feel my nails digging into the palm of my hand. I was huddled in a corner of a room that had lots of wooden shelves and a wooden floor. There was a huge wooden desk in the corner of the room. Next… Continue reading Evicting the Snake!
Reference here. Mentoring Letter 492 Fear – The Driver Behind ‘What If’ “If a man harbours any sort of fear, it percolates through all his thinking, damages his personality, makes him landlord to a ghost.” Lloyd Douglas Two explorers were on a jungle safari when suddenly a ferocious lion jumped in front of them. “Keep… Continue reading Feel the Fear. And then do it anyway…
If you’ve been following my blog for any length of time, you will know what I battle with my weight. Before I fell pregnant, my issue was that I thought I was too skinny. Now, and my daughter has already turned six, I’m the fat one. I’m the one who eats huge portions, and cannot get through… Continue reading Thinking like a skinny chick!
I started this blog to record Baby Girl’s life. I wanted to remember each and every day, each detail of her life – I have so few memories of my childhood that I wanted a platform for Baby Girl to recall memories of her own childhood. Especially since she is an only child, there won’t be any siblings to bounce memories off of.
But, this blog quickly became about me exercising my demons (so to speak). And in a way that’s okay – Baby Girl will truly know who I am. And very often, if fears or insecurities or anything is passed onto the next generation, understanding where these fears or insecurities come from is half the battle in walking beyond them.
And often I ask myself, “Why?”
Why have I gone through all? And this is how I tend to think of it: some people are born with strong personalities. From the get-go, they know what they want in life and what they’re going to do to get it. Others are born with softer personalities that need to be nurtured and taken care of – these are usually your more sensitive individuals and are more easily influenced by outside forces. And then you get those that are born blank slates – their personalities develop over time from their families, life experiences, etc. I was in this latter category. I was a blank slate – I was this insecure, sensitive little girl who, I think, from the word go had to develop my personality in life. I have no problem with that – I think we worship a God who is creative.
However, I was born into dysfunctional family with a dominant mother figure and an absent father figure. And this dominant mother figure controlled and bullied every aspect of my life. And this only loaned itself even more to me developing anxiety issues.
It has taken me a long, long time to realise that God did not create us to be anxious.