Who am I in Christ?
I am busy working through Dr Caroline Leaf’s 21 Day Detox programme. And I have tackled toxic thinking on various issues in my life, but the one I haven’t tackled yet – the big one, the major driving force for most of what I do and who I am – is anxiety. And in this next lot of 21 day detox I am going to tackle this negative mindset. Because it’s not just one thought – it’s a mindset. A negative, anxious-filled outlook on life that creates negative thoughts… that reinforces the mindset.
So, I am going beyond just a negative thought – but to the actual mindset behind the thinking. It’s a big task, and I wouldn’t be surprised if I got to the end of this 21 day cycle, only to have to do another 21 day cycle on combatting anxiety – which I am quite willing to do to walk in freedom in this life that God has given me.
You see, I am so, so tired of feeling anxious for no good reason. And I am tired of walking on eggshells in my life incase I have a panic attack. I want to grab my life by the horns, so to speak, and really start living it. I have made strides in that direction – I am running, and taking part in races, which before would never even have been a consideration for me. As I read on Facebook some time ago:
I don’t run. And if you see me running, you better start running too – because then something is chasing me.
So, I am constantly working on improving my thinking and focusing on good, healthy thoughts.
Philippians 4:8 NIV: Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.
The first aspect I have realised today (on day 1 of the detox) is that I think I define myself as anxious. Many people define themselves as successful, a reader, a businessman, an athlete, but me? I define myself as an anxious person – it’s not something I’ve done consciously, but I am aware that this is what I do. And in breaking that down, I need to re-define myself according to something that extends beyond my thoughts and feelings. According to God’s word:
And that is what I am going to focus on today. My worth as a person is not defined in anxiety and fear – it is defined according to God and His word. And His word says:
Today, I am grateful for:
- This gorgeous day we are having. The air is still and cool, and the sun is shining bright. Days like today are definitely my favourite.
- For God giving me the means and way on how to renew my mind. I am so much further along than I was just a short time ago – I’m not yet where I want to be, but I am getting there.
- Last week I ran 20 km, and this week I’ve already run 15 km. Pity I’m not running today, because it is truly a beautiful day. But, I will run tomorrow if the weather holds.
- Hubby has a very important day – some of the head sales people from Neotel in Durban are coming down to spend the day with him. How cool is that? I just hope and pray this leads to something more for him and he can grow his business, and they’re not here to see anyone else but him. Hhe will be taking them around to some of his clients and then perhaps out to dinner tonight. I think that is so awesome.
- Last night hubby says he can see I’m starting to get my womanly curves back, i.e. I’ve lost some weight. He does put it so delicately, but I am grateful for the compliment. Running has definitely helped in that regard.