I’m scared, Mama…


It’s not really my place to comment on the recent shooting in America.  Not only was I not there at the time, I am not an American.  But, I can comment as a mom.  And it doesn’t matter whether you’re black and white, when you’re a mom – the first thing you want to do is protect your family and your children.

Which is personally why I found it so strange that in the shooting of Philando Castile, his girlfriend is seen filming herself on her cellphone and not assisting him.  But, I digress…  its her daughter that I want to talk about.  There is a child in the car, and in the video you can clearly hear this child say, “I’m scared, mama…”

Oh.  My.  Word.

That poor child.  I don’t care if you’re black or white, I don’t care who is right and wrong, who is going to protect that child?  Who is going to have that child “unsee” what they have seen?  Who is going to see to it that bitterness doesn’t take root in that child’s heart?  Who is going to love that child so that she sees Jesus’ love?  That’s a little soul, a little child who belongs to God and who has been caught up in an awful situation.

Matthew 19:14 KJV:  But Jesus said, Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven.

Who will make sure she gets to know that Heaven belongs to her?

Out of this entire story, this child is the true victim here.


I have been feeling anxious – last night, and this morning.  I’m not sure why – just to say that I am tired, and too much training perhaps is catching up with me.

But, two things that I have noticed – I have stopped guarding my mind and allowing any negative thought to come creeping through, and I’ve stopped looking for thinks to be grateful for.  A connection – maybe?  Maybe not.

So, today, I want to pick up my gratitude journal again:

  1. My cellphone is about four years old and works like a dream, but the cover is very old and tatty and torn.  Yesterday, I came home to a wonderful surprise and hubby had bought me a new cellphone cover.  How awesome is that?
  2. Last night, Baby Girl called me in her sleep – as she usually does when she needs the toilet.  But, I went through and all she wanted was a hug.  Yes, I know she should be sleeping through, but do you know how precious that hug was?  Priceless…
  3. I’ve been catching up with my running – last week I ran 20 km, but this week I am on 5 km, and will hopefully do a run at lunchtime again today.
  4. We cancelled DSTV as we’re now on Netflix, but we managed to upgrade to watch the Tour de France.  It is so beautiful seeing another country – that is clean and well looked after.  We will cancel again after the TdF is finished, but for now – we’re enjoying.
  5. And once again, I am grateful that God has not given up on me.  Nor will He ever.  And that God is constantly calling me to give my anxiety to Him.  To guard my heart and to focus on Him.

I have much to be grateful for.

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