But, I do think we need to take responsibility for how we eat, what we eat and the driving forces that lead us to consume way more than is necessary.
I have a reaction to certain situations that causes anxiety and it is that anxiety that causes me to eat – it helps calm me down and feel like I could possibly be in control.
But, no body forces me to eat. I do it quite nicely on my own. Nobody forces me to not eat, either – before I had Baby Girl. I did that quite nicely on my own, too. I need to take responsibility for what I eat and don’t eat, for how I eat, for who I eat with. Nobody can do that for me. I need to do it. No matter how politically correct we are these days, being overweight and being in bondage to food is not healthy or good for you. Besides for the well-known health effects – diabetes, cholesterol, pressure on the heart, etc, you’re not being free to live your life if you’re tied down to food the whole time. I know that I can’t relax and enjoy going out because I am so worried about eating – and before I knew it, eating has defined me. It has become who I am. Even when not eating before Baby Girl’s birth, not eating defined me.
Food can never define us.
God defines us.
And He has said that we are fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14). If I am looking to anything or anyone else but God for peace, love and acceptance, then I will always fall short. And how do I find God’s peace, love and acceptance? I believe, I have faith and I devour His word. It’s the only devouring I am allowed to do, as overeating is gluttony and gluttony is a sin.
Philippians 3:19 (NIV) – Their destiny is destruction, their god is their stomach, and their glory is in their shame. Their mind is set on earthly things.
I really don’t want to be known as someone who worshipped my stomach. I want to be known as a Christian who loved God and Jesus, who did the very best that she could, who focused on Heavenly things and spiritual growth and who thought about things that are beautiful, and wonderful, and holy.
Philippians 4:8 (NIV) – Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.
So, I will keep on keeping on – break down the toxic thinking that thinks I can rely on and find comfort in food, and build up a new healthy thought that says I can eat when I am hungry, enjoy my food, but my comfort and peace is found in God and God alone.
I feel in awe of this journey that God has brought me on. Why He would bother with a little unknown such as myself, I don’t know. But, I know that He does and that He loves me and to Him, I am worth the effort. We all are. And so while I’m still in the beginning stages of my journey (one doesn’t undo 43 years of toxic thinking in couple of months – it takes time), I am grateful to be where I am and I look forward to see where I will be…
- I am grateful for the people who walk this journey of life with me – their love, their patience, their input into who I am is valuable. God knew just what He was doing when He gave me these people – like my husband and daughter – who would help Him to bring to the person He created me to be; to help me release my potential as His daughter.
- I am grateful for this beautiful day – I know that there is a cold front coming, but it is hard to feel stressed or anxious on such a gorgeous day. I am grateful for a little respite from the cold and a little peace on such a beautiful day.
- I am grateful that each day I am learning how to be a better wife and a better mother. I started off being a blank slate, but God is growing me into a beautiful woman, a strong and courageous woman and I am proud and honoured that God could invest His time in who I am.
- I am grateful that Baby Girl is at a Holiday Club that she is thoroughly enjoying. She seems happy and content and had a great time yesterday. And they are teaching her about Jesus and a lot of her school friends are there.
- I am grateful for a good weekend we had with hubby’s sister. As you may know, there is no love lost between the two of us, but we had a great weekend and the girls (she has two daughters) had a great time.
I have so much to be grateful for.