“People tend to be generous when sharing their nonsense, fear, and ignorance. And while they seem quite eager to feed you their negativity, please remember that sometimes the diet we need to be on is a spiritual and emotional one. Be cautious with what you feed your mind and soul. Fuel yourself with positivity and let that fuel propel you into positive action.” ― Steve Maraboli,
I have often wondered why when you ask someone who they are, you get this story of woe and drama and negativity. Dr Caroline Leaf speaks very strongly against rehashing a negative incident or thoughts over and over and over again. She says that what you are actually doing when you tell your spouse, your mother, your friends and you’ve told and retold your story over and over and over again, is that you are actually wiring protein into the brain that makes that story quite literally part of who you are, how you see the world and how you will react to life in the future. She isn’t saying that you shouldn’t get help by speaking to someone – but get that help and then move on. The damage that you’re doing to your mind, body and soul by rehashing over and over a negative incident will cause you to live out that negativity because it has become a part of you. You will then be wired in that way and that bad or negative experience will then continue to define who you are.
And so if you keep replaying over and over and over again a situation, event or circumstance in your mind – it is quite literally going to change your brain and your biology. And I don’t know about you, but I don’t necessarily want the negative experiences of my life to define who I am.
When I was going through my awful period of anxiety, I kept on thinking about getting help. I needed to get help – or so I thought at the time. But, something – a very strong sense – prevented me from doing so. It wasn’t that I was embarrassed, or didn’t think I needed the help, or anything like that – I just couldn’t talk about it anymore. I quite simply just couldn’t. I was done. And so I knew two things: firstly, that God had already answered all my prayers – I was the one holding onto my anxiety and my past. And secondly, I had to figure out how to let go by myself. I am not advocating this for everyone – this is the path I had to walk, I had to move away from always relying on someone else to guide me and to help me to realise my strength in Christ and learn to do it for myself. I had to learn that if I allowed myself to keep on going over and over and over my fears and anxieties it will continue to define me – FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE. I am still learning to let go. I am still learning to change my thinking. I am still learning that I get to define who I am. I get to decide how to react to life and who I will be. With the grace of God and the strength of Christ, I get to renew my mind and that is why I embarked on my gratitude journey because it is quite simply the most effective way to change how you think. Don’t get me wrong, only God can do the work in us that we want to have done to change (truly change) – but we have to be open to it, we have to realise that there is something wrong, and humbly bring ourselves before God to change our minds, and our hearts, through His grace.
There are big things in my life that I am grateful for – like my marriage, my husband and my daughter. But, often, I find it is the little things that truly give more meaning to life. On Saturday, it was pouring with rain – and I mean pouring, and bitterly cold. But, I knew that my 75-year-old father would be down at the beach front waiting for the Park Run to start. And as I was lying in bed at 05:00 contemplating whether I should go or not, I thought I can’t let my 75-year-old father run the Park Run and here I am lying in bed, with no excuses. So, I got up – went down to the beach – and had the most amazing run. I ran 10 km (5 before the Park Run, and then including the 5 of the Park Run), but it was just such an amazing run. So, yes, my dad was there – waiting for me – but I am glad that I went. It was really amazing and I broke quite a few of my personal records on Strava.
Then, on Saturday night, we had a full wine club for the first time in ages. And it was a really good evening, but it was even more amazing to see the kids all on their bikes, and having so much fun.
I had a really good weekend with hubby and Baby Girl. I love the two of them so much – I am so grateful for the joy, and laughter, and even the challenges they bring into my life that help me to grow and learn and love. I truly am very blessed indeed.
I have so much to be grateful for.
The Baby Mama