Changing the Present, leaving the past…

I love my life.  Even in my most negative moments, I still love my life.  I love my husband and I love my daughter.  I love my home, my job and the fact that I am learning how to run.  There is nothing, NOTHING, in my life I would change (okay, a few extra pennies each month would be most welcome… 🙂 ).  Not a thing…

And because I love my life, I need to make peace with the past.

And that is the truth – as much as I have issues from my past to deal with, baggage that I have carried around with me my entire life, I would not change what I have now.  What I do want to change is me carrying this baggage around – I want to put it down, be rid of it.  I have had it with me long enough.  Just this morning I prayed that God would show me the root – I feel like I am dealing with the branches and leaves, but I haven’t really gotten to the root.  And I know that when I am ready, God will show me…

And I am thankful that I love my life so much that I wouldn’t change a thing.  And I am thankful that God has created me fearfully and wonderfully, and that I can enjoy who I am now.  And I am thankful that God has blessed me with some truly amazing people to accompany me on this journey called life.

I will eventually get to the point of thinking about other things in my life besides the baggage that I carry around with me.  It will come – I will reap the harvest of the work that I am putting in.  I am creating space and I am pulling out the weeds, and roots, of toxic thinking and I am creating space for God’s blessings to flow.  This harvest I will reap – because I can do all things through Christ Jesus who gives me strength.

Change is an inevitable and vital part of life.  Change is happening to everyone each day.  Some of the differences are so imperceptible as to be invisible but they are there none the less.  It is human nature I think, to hold on to the past and things we are comfortable with, like a child with a blanket, these ideas, and possessions present a form of comfort, even if they no longer serve us.  We each have a certain amount of space in our lives for the people and possessions that matter most to us.  It is important to let go of the old things to create space for the new.  Space in our lives is an important entity.  There is only so much of it in our consciousness and in order for new stuff to come into our lives we have to get rid of the old stuff. Jonathan Hilton


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