Gratitude – 06th April 2016

“Life will love me back when I have a spirit of gratitude, and when I give of myself without anticipation of getting, fully expecting nothing in return, then I will find the gift that is received by me at the same exact moment I give it to another—a box that is so empty that it is full, and I will become happy simply by making someone else happy.” ― Jarod Kintz

It is cold.  Oh boy, I’m not quite prepared for this winter weather, but it is lovely to be wearing boots again (I love boots).  Hubby is in Cape Town on business, and they had a big family dinner last night, with his sister, and her two children.  I felt so left out – his sister and I do not have a good relationship.  She has never acknowledged my existence and to know hubby is having lovely family meals without me, and that if I was there, the claws and sarcasm would come out, makes me feel kinda – I don’t know – kinda left out, I think.  And to make matters worse, her whole family is coming to holiday in Port Elizabeth and Baby Girl is so excited.

I don’t want this woman in my house.

She ignores me, tells me that she can’t understand the fuss about my miscarriage as I didn’t want to have kids anyway, tells us its okay to be poor we just mustn’t talk about it – yeah, she’s a beaut.

And now she’s planned this holiday in P.E., making plans with hubby to meet up with Baby Girl so the cousins can spend time together, and yet not once – not even once – has she even acknowledged me.

Today, I am grateful for:

  1. Working on the desire to do something about my weight.  It is still an issue for me and I fluctuate between wanting to lose weight and being too fearful to lose weight, but I feel like that slowly but surely I am heading in the right direction.  Only by God’s grace, but I hope and pray that someday I will get there.
  2. That I am a mother.  I never thought I would have this privilege – or that it was, in fact, a privilege: but what an honour to mother a little soul through their early years in life.  Wow – thank you Lord for showing me your way and your will.
  3. Yeah, okay, it is cold and the coffee this morning was good… 😉
  4. For the awesome privilege of being called a daughter of the most high God.
  5. For being fearfully and wonderfully made.

I have much to be grateful for.


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