Today, I am somewhat annoyed. You see, hubby and I have been together for 17 years, and married for 15 (well, almost 16) years. And never, not once, in all that time – has his sister done anything to make me feel welcome. In fact, quite the opposite, she has gone out of her way to make sure that I am not welcome – snide comments, negative observations, running commentary on how bad my life is and how good her life is. To put things into perspective, after I miscarried, her comment was, “well you never wanted to have children, so why are you so upset?” or “its okay to be poor, you don’t have to talk about it”… Shall I go on? Anyway, the younger brother has now just gotten engaged this past weekend, and all I see on Facebook are photos of hubby’s sister and the new fiance with comments like, “My new beautiful sister-in-law…”… “the best sister-in-law ever…”, etc, etc, etc.
Am I jealous?
Yes, I am. I admit that I am, because in 15 years of marriage hubby’s sister has never ever even returned one of my phone calls – never mind taking the initiative to phone me. So, you know what I’ve done? And I will chat to hubby about this tonight when I get home, but I have blocked her on Facebook. I’m not going to sit here and feel so anxious and negative about how poorly I’ve been treated in the 15 years, and see all these smiles and happiness – I need to be better than this.
So, today, in focusing on my own life and all the blessings God has given me:
- I am grateful for friends that have supported us and loved us and been there for us when family did not want to (or could not) do that for us.
- I am grateful that I am God’s princess – I am a member of a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God. God chose me. He saw me, he saw where I came from, my hurts, my pain, my fears and my insecurities and He still chose me. And He still loves me.
- That God has given me a man who knows exactly how to love me, and wants to love me, and wants to do the best for me. I know we’re battling financially (even if we’re not supposed to talk about it), and to never have money or be able to afford the things we need, is extremely frustrating, my husband always wants what is best for me. And he IS what is best for me.
- I am grateful for my husband’s kindness and his graciousness in always making people feel welcome and feel their best – no matter what they say to us or how poorly they make us feel.
- I am grateful for my life – I thank God that I get to live the life I live.
In Jesus name – thank you.