Just trust…

We are headed for Cape Town next weekend and I am feeling a little nervous.  I always, ALWAYS get nervous before a trip, because I worry about my anxiety and eating.  There is no “just go” with me.  And today I was contemplating going back on Paxil for the trip, you know, to help me through my nervousness.  And as I was praying, I wanted to say, “God, it’s so difficult to know when to trust you…”

And I stopped.

I couldn’t go on.

This voice inside of me said, “You trust me no matter what.”

Staying on or going off – you trust me.

Eating or not eating – you trust me.

I have a plan to work in your life, and it may mean baby steps for you, you may experience small or large setbacks here and there – but you just trust me.

And I was quiet.

I know that what I was thinking was right.  There is no “when” to trust God.  You just trust Him.  He knows your life, He knows you.  And He knows what is best – yes, I have to be obedient to Him, but even when I can’t or I don’t know how – I must still just trust Him.  He will work the rest out.

I feel chastised and grateful.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart
    and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to him,
    and he will make your paths straight.


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