We are headed for Cape Town next weekend and I am feeling a little nervous. I always, ALWAYS get nervous before a trip, because I worry about my anxiety and eating. There is no “just go” with me. And today I was contemplating going back on Paxil for the trip, you know, to help me through my nervousness. And as I was praying, I wanted to say, “God, it’s so difficult to know when to trust you…”
And I stopped.
I couldn’t go on.
This voice inside of me said, “You trust me no matter what.”
Staying on or going off – you trust me.
Eating or not eating – you trust me.
I have a plan to work in your life, and it may mean baby steps for you, you may experience small or large setbacks here and there – but you just trust me.
And I was quiet.
I know that what I was thinking was right. There is no “when” to trust God. You just trust Him. He knows your life, He knows you. And He knows what is best – yes, I have to be obedient to Him, but even when I can’t or I don’t know how – I must still just trust Him. He will work the rest out.
I feel chastised and grateful.
5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
6 in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight.