Talking to yourself…

Romans 10:17: So then faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God.

You see, it is not only the Word of God that will create long-lasting impressions in your mind, heart and soul.  It was what you allow yourself to hear that will dictate the quality of your life, thoughts and spirit.

Ever since I have blogged about walking and trusting God in going off Paxil, I have battled.  And I have battled to get my thoughts under control.  The “what if” scenarios are playing havoc in my mind.  And I know what it is – I am under attack.  Satan wants me to fail.  In fact, deep down, I probably want me to fail – aren’t we the greatest self-saboteurs?  Often, as we reinforce our beliefs, it is easier to fail and live with that failure.  Why?  I’m not always sure I understand why, but I suspect it is easier to live in our comfort zone of fear, than it is to reach out and achieve, reach out and grow, reach out and be blessed, reach out and be obedient to God.  But, I know that I will be missing out on God’s truth.

And this is God’s truth:

2 Timothy 1:7For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.

And so what I find helps me – although it does seem to be a constant battle – is to talk to myself, aloud if I need to.  Because while I am speaking God’s truth, and focusing on that, I cannot allow my thoughts to wander about all the “what if” scenarios that plague my mind.  And it is also helpful to remember that not only has Jesus walked this path of humanity, He has conquered all evil.  Has – as in it is already done.  What we need to do is walk out that truth in our daily lives.

I don’t have any issue with going back on Paxil if I need to.  But, I know and trust God that this phase of my life is now done.  It is time to stop looking in and living inside my head, and to start looking out and moving forward, moving beyond all this anxiety.

And what I also need to do, to stop living inside my head, is to focus a little more on the world around me.  Instead of withdrawing, reach out – interact, create relationships, get involved, get moving.

I trust that God will keep growing me until this is all but a distant memory.  But, I will have been changed.  I will have grown closer and deeper to the person that God created me to be, to the wife God desires me to be, to the mother God knows I can be.

So, next time you are feeling anxious, start listening aloud to the Word of God – quote those versus that speak directly to your situation or your fears.  Then, move away from your anxiety.  Don’t withdraw from life and those around you, so that your thoughts can play havoc with your mind.  Make a conscious decision to trust God and His word, rather than your thoughts, feelings, insecurities and fears.  Remember, you can trust God despite feeling anxious – trust isn’t a feeling, its conscious decision to trust in spite of what you are feeling.

God is so much bigger than whatever it is you’re going through.

And if just one person can be touched and learn something from what I am going through – then this blog and everything else will be worth it.

John 14:27:  Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you.  I do not give to you as the world gives.  Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

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