So nobody is dropping off a big bag of cash, my soulmate/lumberjack yogi or my freshly published book? Because I’ve been wishing and dreaming! I feng shuied my prosperity corner, ate my Lucky Charms, created my vision board and blew out all of my birthday candles. So where are all the things I dream about?
Someone said to me the other day that 2013 was awful and she was so happy to see it go. She KNEW that 2014 would be awesome and she would be so much happier. I asked her a very annoying question, “What if 2014 isn’t any better?”. Blank stare. I asked her how she was going to live her life if things STILL didn’t go according to her plan. She did not answer. She was not happy at the mere suggestion that her “luck” was not going to be doing a 180. My assumption was she would react in the same way she did about 2013: verbally listing MONTH BY MONTH all the bad things that happened TO her. Well, that’s a fun conversation. I stopped her in April. If you are not preparing yourself with strategies of self-care and resilience, your experiences will probably be the same. Otherwise, it is a wish, a hope, blowing on a dandelion.
How do we deal with adversity? Are we victims of our suffering? Do we create laundry lists of woes to recite to anyone who will listen? Or do we look around and realize the world is suffering WITH us? You had a crappy 2013? Other people lost loved ones, relationships, jobs, houses, health and hope. Focusing on that loss, creating an identity around it, is sure to bring more of it to us. We have to focus on what we want, not what we don’t want.
Other than drumming your fingers, waiting for 2014 to amaze you, what will you do differently? What persistent, negative thoughts will you change? What will you FEEL differently about? What will be different about your routine? 2014 doesn’t dole out different results for the same thoughts, feelings and actions. He’s kind of an asshole like that.
If you really want something to change in your life, you have to change something. Overcome your fear of trying something new. Overcome your fear of change. Overcome your fear of disappointment. Truly, failing is not that bad…unless YOU assign more meaning to it. It doesn’t mean you are not smart enough, strong enough or enough enough. It just means it didn’t work out THIS TIME. Maybe it means the timing wasn’t right. Maybe it means you needed to prepare differently. Maybe it means that the design needed tweaked. It doesn’t necessarily say anything about your skills, abilities or worthiness. It means it needs a reboot. When your computer needs a reboot we don’t think that it’s an idiot and it’s never going to amount to anything if it keeps failing over and over again. We think it needs a reboot.
The universe doesn’t do something for nothing. We don’t all get a trophy for just participating. We EARN our trophies. We create our experiences subconsciously and consciously, so how do we get more conscious about it?
Dream your dream.
Create your plan.
Act on your plan.
If necessary, revamp your plan.
Act on your plan.
Live your dream.
Clearly, that’s a really simple version but it’s really true. No more wishing. Let’s put a rudder on this ship so we can sail into our perfectly imagined sunset! Let’s also keep things in the realms of reality. I dream of marrying Prince Harry since he grew that beard. I’d love to bust some things up in that monarchy but I’m too old, I’ve already got kids and my hair doesn’t do well in a humid climate. I will still of living on a beach which is humid but it’s a sunny humid not a cloudy humid. Trust me.
You are strong enough to endure the disappointment of failure. If you can withstand not being where you want to be, you can withstand a failed attempt to get there. You would be surprised at the strength you have to pick yourself up after a solid, well-planned attempt. It’s much easier than picking yourself up after you’ve fallen off your couch during a Housewives weekend.
It’s not 2013 anymore except in your head. Out here, it’s 2014: A clean slate to create new opportunities for success, peace, love and joy.