The one thing I am envious of…


I am not a person who is prone to envy.  Fortunately, I just see it as you get what you get, I get what I get, we’re two different people on two different walks in life and so be it.

But…

Hubby and I have this friend – well, we’re more friendly with the husband, because the wife is all about her, what sport she is doing, how much she can eat, and always has to be right about everything and have the last say about everything. And whilst I am extremely fond of her, I find it difficult to relate to someone who won’t budge an inch to talk about something other than herself.  But, she is a highly intelligent woman who has a variety of interests and one can learn so much from her – if you can get past the self-centeredness.

They also have a lot of money, and go to five-star luxury resorts almost every weekend and they eat out in a week what hubby and I spend on our groceries in an entire month.  And she does love to flaunt that fact.  She would say something like, “Oh, I have a R180 000 saved in my cheque account – wonder what I should do with it” when she knows that hubby and I are battling financially.

But, I am completely honest when I say that I am fond of her and that I enjoy the fact that she is extremely intelligent and that there is a lot I can learn from her.  She is also a very good cook and makes the most lovely meals.  And she is a very strong athlete.

But, there has been nothing in her life that has made me the least bit envious.

Until this past weekend.

And I’m not quite sure how to put this across without sounding jealous, because it isn’t really jealousy.  It’s more of a desire of what I would want for hubby and I.  And perhaps it is a good thing – it gives me some focus on what to pray for.

You see, this woman and her husband spend a lot of time together – just to the two of them.  They are always going out for supper, or breakfasts on the weekend, or going away for the whole weekend, or on a week’s holiday – seriously, they are always just going somewhere.  Just the two of them.

And I wondered this weekend what do they talk about all this time alone that it is just the two of them.

You see – with hubby and I, there is so much stress, and so much financial pressure, and so much to do where we have no-one to help us, that conversation has slowed down significantly.

Before Baby Girl was born, hubby and I used to love going out just to the two of us – we had fun together.  And now the stress of life has completely changed that.  Don’t get me wrong, first we don’t have money to go out just the two of us – if we can afford to go out, we make it a point of either catching up with friends or ensuring that we go with other couples who have kids so Baby Girl has someone to play with.

But, we seem to have lost the art of enjoying each other’s company – just the two of us.

And it so hard to switch into that mode – when you have a little four-year old motor mouth that doesn’t allow either of us to get a word in, and trying to sort out all the domestic “to do” lists, and working hard (both of us), to then just sit down and talk at the end of the day – well, it’s just not easy to switch into that mode.

But, I know that we must!

I know that we must put aside all mobile devices and not BBM, What’s App, email or whatever else and focus on good hearty conversation with each other.  We can’t afford to allow the stress of life to steal our conversation – because conversation is the glue that holds your relationship togetherAnd from that, flows a deep intimacy that can then be expressed sexually to meet both of your needs.

And so, I think hubby and I need to talk.  About this.  I need him to know how much I desire to know him, how much I desire to be connected to him in a relational, physical, spiritual and intimate level.  I need him to know how much I miss those days before all this stress and anxiety stole from us and we were so happy just the two of us.  I need him to know that I love him – very much.  And that somehow, we need to learn and be able to make that switch from a hectic day – to having intimate conversations at night.  Just the two of us.

Dear Lord, please help us do this!

Joel 2:25-32

25 “So I will restore to you the years that the swarming locust has eaten,
The crawling locust, (read: financial stress, anxiety, panic attacks, busyness, pressure)
The consuming locust, (read: financial stress, anxiety, panic attacks, busyness, pressure)
And the chewing locust, (read: financial stress, anxiety, busyness, pressure)
My great army which I sent among you.
26 You shall eat in plenty and be satisfied, (read: our word for this year is abundance)
And praise the name of the Lord your God,
Who has dealt wondrously with you;
And My people shall never be put to shame. (read: our word for this year is abundance)
27 Then you shall know that I am in the midst of Israel:
am the Lord your God
And there is no other.
My people shall never be put to shame. (read: our word for this year is abundance)

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