Wow, being a parent is hard work. For both moms and dads. And I really wish, and often pray, that I am doing the right thing. It is worrying – I keep finding myself second guessing myself and worrying about things that may or may not warrant the worry I give to them. Baby Girl is going through a phase. The first of many, many phases I am sure – but she is being rude, testy, miserable and seriously pushing those damn boundaries. And none of that I mind – it goes to show she has a strong will and that will only stand her well in her future. I was always too good and too quiet, and I am pleased to see my little girl knows her own mind so well.
What worries me is this –
“Mommy, I don’t love you any more. I’m going to find myself a new family. I don’t like this family and I’m never going to wake up from my sleep again and I’m never going to smile and I’m never going to eat dinner with you again.”
This kid is four. F-O-U-R!!!!
I know its manipulation. I know she wants her way on something, or she feels she needs more attention or more something. What I don’t know is the best way to handle this. I fear that this type of thinking is going to cement itself in her brain and then become a reality when she’s a teen (oh, so looking forward to those years…). And we do use the timeout method when she is rude or cheeky, and I always love her afterwards and sit with her and let her know how much she is loved, but that her Dad and I will not put up with cheeky or rude behaviour. So, last night, after I have loved her from being in time out and telling her that its all over now, we can focus on a happy and fun night ahead, you know what she says to me?
“Nobody will ever love me. And I’m always naughty. And not even Father Christmas is going to bring me presents. And Father Christmas has told all the angels and fairies to not look after me and to not love me…”
Yes, this child is four. F-O-U-R!!! And it is this that I feel a little powerless to help or combat or get her thinking right. Both her Dad and I immediately told her that she can’t believe such nonsense and that of course she is loved – more than anything. Where does she get this from? We never, ever tell her she’s naughty – our approach has always been to focus on what is acceptable and unacceptable behaviour! I’m not sure if its the school (of which she only has two day’s left) or what it is, but I hate her thinking like this. I need to get her to focus on the positive and to believe what is right – no matter how she feels. In other words, to teach her to believe that she is loved, no matter what, even when she doesn’t feel very lovable.
How do I do that?
Or do I just pass this off as a manipulative phase she is going through and leave it at that?
Super Nanny – any advise please????
- Don’t You Worry Child (nellyadventure.wordpress.com)
- 10 Tips for Nannies and Babysitters (emmacarlson.com)
- Tech Tips for Workaholic Moms (shoretelsky.com)
- Tired Working Mommy Confessions (onetiredworkingmommy.com)
- Growing up (maundunatalie.wordpress.com)
- Mothers Help/junior Nanny (peekaboochildcare.wordpress.com)