One of the many reasons I love blogging – and reading blogs – is that you come across some really great advice Blogs that help you view your life a little differently, a little better and to let you know that you are not alone in your struggles with motherhood, work, and well, I suppose just basically life in general.
I recently came across a blog, To Love, Honour and Vacuum which has some great advice for women who are trying to lead authentic Christian lives. Sheila Gregoire, author and blogger, has written a book called 31 Days to Great Sex (bet that got Hubby’s attention…:-)) and although we don’t see this, and society and the media tell us quite differently, but sex is actually ordained from God. He created it for our pleasure. And so, I am reading through this book very slowly – not only because it is challenging, and there are concepts that I need to work through my little brain to grasp, but work and life is just generally very hectic at the moment.
So, yes, I sneak a five-minute read at work now and then and would be absolutely mortified should my boss walk into my office and there blazing across my screen are the words,
31 Days to Great Sex
I. Would. Simply. Die.
Anyway, I have just started the book and already she has said some things that just truly make sense to me. And yes, like with dieting and exercising and anything else, we have heard it all before – in some form or another – but sometimes someone can just word something the right way that you get that aha moment and can continue with life. I haven’t had an aha moment yet with this book, but I do like how her thought processes have worked in putting the book together. Firstly, she says that the world and society and especially the media is about making sex as negative as it can possibly be. Where God intended for it to be beautiful and elegant and inspiring and all those wonderful adjectives that can describe something great in our lives.
And God created us to have pleasure. As in all of us. I never like to enjoy myself – hubby will attest to this. It seems, somehow, not within the Christian norm. Isn’t it better to suffer? And be miserable? Of course, you all know this, because you’ve walked this path with me on changing my negativity and my negative thinking. My thinking is so wrong here – because God did come to us that we may have life and live life to the fullest.
John 10:10 New International Version (NIV)
10 The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.
Without feeling guilty.
And we can have as much sex (with our husbands ONLY) as we want, or as time and energy allow. Because that is why God gave us to each other. Now, I know all this cognitively, but I need to learn how to act this out in reality, and I’m sure the rest of the book will cover just that (I mean, I have only completed 13% of the book (thanks Kindle for that little stat)).
Anyway, the first assignment I have in this book is to name five things I love about myself. I mean seriously – has this woman not seen what I look like of late? I have no self-esteem – we’re not even going to go for “low”, because I think my self-esteem is non-existent. And Sheila (don’t you just love it when bloggers use a first name basis for authors or celebrities they are writing about – like Sheila and I are long-lost friends who have known each other for years – but I digress) addresses this head-on.
And this is one of the things that so far in this book has made perfect sense – you have to love yourself and believe you are beautiful as you are now, before you’d start to see any weight loss. If you’re trying to lose weight from a point of view of not loving yourself (or any other insane reason that people need to lose weight) in all likelihood you’d probably not succeed. You see, your motives aren’t pure. Your reasoning isn’t where it needs to be to make success inevitable.
And I quote:
So, this is my goal – stop with the negative self-talk, and start to focus on loving who I am. And then, just perhaps, I’ll get to the point of loving myself enough to look after myself enough to lose this extra weight and to focus on being fit and healthy and strong.
This is a process – every challenge in life that we face is always a process and nothing happens overnight. But every day that I am dealing with all this negativity in my head, is a day that I am getting closer to just simply enjoying my life and moving away from all that anxiety and to really just start embracing life. I am not there yet.
But, hell, I am so much further along this road than where I was just this time last year. And thank the good Lord for that.
Anyway, back to Sheila’s challenge – five things. Well, here goes:
Okay, uh, wow, this isn’t easy – and she says no justification. Just what you love about yourself. (Did I mention this has to be physical attributes – I can’t even mention my burning desire to always be the best I can be…)
- I love my eyes – I have green eyes and I do love my eyes.
- I love my hair – is curly and blonde and can be easy to manage because I don’t have to blow dry my hair. Ever.
- My breasts and hubby loving them.
- My smile – I always think I hate my smile and then I’ll see a photo and find myself think, “Oh, that’s not too bad.”
- I can’t think of a fifth – I seriously can’t. I will give it the weekend and report back on a full five on Wednesday.
Although I will be back on Wednesday to list my five = completely = I may not share very much more about this book. Although I do blog anonymously, some things may be even too private to share here. Or not. I will decide as I read through the book.
The Baby Mama