Sorry, this situation has just cropped up and I am so angry and irate by it that I have to blog about it. I am furious.
I have read the book The Road Less Travelled by M. Scott Peck a number of times. As a self-help book, it is probably the wisest and most profound book I have ever read (except for the Bible) and I would highly recommend anyone reading it. In it, he tells of a story of a young boy, 16 years of age, who came to his practice for severe depression. He had been seeing the boy for a number of weeks without any progress being made when the boy started telling him about his gun that he got for his birthday. Anyway, to cut a long story short, the boy’s elder brother had committed suicide with that gun and his parents not wanting to throw away a perfectly good birthday give, gave that very same gun to their son for his birthday. M. Scott Peck’s argument for evil in ordinary people was exemplified in this case study. How could good parents give their son a gift that was used to kill their eldest son for his birthday? Yes, there are those kind of people in this world. And the most frustrating thing is that they don’t see anything wrong with it.
And it would seem my brother was married to one such person.
Just a bit of background – my brother’s ex-wife is not a nice person. She is very controlling and manipulative. Case in point – after they were divorced, she dropped off two of the children down the road from where my brother lived in the middle of winter, without shoes or a jacket, the son without his asthma medication, the daughter without her diabetes medication, to walk to their Dad’s house and the reason? Well, the payment for the maintenance took place on a weekend and hadn’t cleared by the Sunday evening. Now, I ask you, what kind of mother does that to her children? Because the banks only cleared the maintenance payment on the Monday morning?
So, this is the kind of person she is – she threw my mother out their house just shortly after they got married, because the “beggar in the street has more right to be in her house than my mother”. Enough background? Well, then let’s proceed…
It seems that my brother’s eldest daughter is now staying at my Dad’s house after my brother asked him to go and fetch her yesterday morning. She is an emotional wreck and is now refusing to go back home because she and her mother had a massive argument and her mother hit her and swore at her. (This apparently is the norm in that household). Now my ex-sister in law is threatening my Dad that if the daughter doesn’t come home, my Dad will have to take over all her medical aid expenses (she’s very badly diabetic) and my brother may have to involve the family advocate as well. My brother (who lives out of town) has sent a message to his ex-wife telling her to back off and that if she doesn’t, he WILL call in the family advocate to investigate what their daughter is saying about being hit and sworn at, etc.
There is just so much history here – the eldest son had to go through several years of counselling because his mother didn’t want anything to do with him after the divorce. Her reason? He looked too much like his granny (my mom) and they had such a good relationship. It was so bad, that he was seven and he smashed a TV. What kind of mother treats her children like that?
And the main reason that she is throwing a hissy fit at not having her daughter at home? Because then there would be no-one to look after her youngest who is about three (my niece’s half-sister). Also, I think she is afraid of what will come out when my niece starts talking and telling what is really going on in that house. I do hope my brother gets the family advocate involved.
I’ve always hated the way my brother and his ex-wife treated their children, and if hubby and I the finances, and room, we’d have all three come live with us. But, alas, we simply cannot take on that kind of burden AND who is this woman to threaten my elderly father for taking care of her daughter? She should be pleased that her daughter has a safe place to go when they have an argument.
Oh, man, I am so cross now – those poor children. And my poor parents.
And to think my mom asked my brother to just live with this woman before getting married to see if this was the right thing, and he refused. He wanted to get married to her.
Oh, why did she ever come into our lives? She is now pure evil.
And I know this because I would never, ever, in my wildest dreams ever consider doing to Baby Girl what this woman is doing to her children. It’s just not right.
The Baby Mama