doubt-poster

On doubt


Today’s Reading

On doubt

As far as you (and I) are concerned I have no doubt that the fear you mention is simply a temptation of the devil, an effort to keep us away from God by despair.  It is often the devil working through some defect in our health, and in extreme cases it needs a medical as well as a spiritual cure.  So don’t listen to these fears and doubts any more than you would to any obviously impure or uncharitable thoughts. . . .  Of course, like other evil temptations, they will not be silenced at once.  You will think you have got rid of them and then they will come back again—and again.  But, with all our temptations of all sorts, we must just endure this.  Keep on, do your duty, say your prayers, make your communions, and take no notice of the tempter.  He goes away in the end.  Remember I John iii, 20 “If (=though) our heart condemn us, God is greater than our heart.”

From The Collected Letters of C.S. Lewis, Volume III

Compiled in Words to Live By

The Collected Letters of C. S. Lewis, Volume III: Narnia, Cambridge, and Joy 1950-1963. Copyright © 2007 by C. S. Lewis Pte. Ltd. All rights reserved. Used with permission of HarperCollins Publishers. Words to Live By: A Guide for the Merely Christian. Copyright © 2007 by C. S. Lewis Pte. Ltd. All rights reserved. Used with permission of HarperCollins Publishers.

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Originally posted on The Fragrance of Marriage!:

My last post dealt with some ideas on who to help you move forward through anxiety and fear.  It isn’t a fool proof method, because training yourself to believe the good is quite possibly like training to run an ultra-marathon when you’ve been a couch potato your whole life.  But, as The Forgiven Wife says, you eat an elephant one bite at a time.  And you train for an ultra-marathon one step at a time, one day at a time.  And that is how you overcome any issue you need to face in this life.  And once you are on the path, you’ll discover that there is a lot of ebb and flow as well.  Some days will be great; some days will be not so great and other days will be a right ol’ battle.

But you get through it.

And the one thing that I didn’t mention…

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Dealing with anxiety…


I am not a psychologist, or counselor, or any professional of any kind at all and perhaps my advice or blogs or stories may be quite boring to you.   And that’s okay.  It really is.  I blog because it helps me to keep track of my own growth, and I blog because it’s a small legacy that I can leave Baby Girl so that she can one day truly know who I am, and I blog because maybe, just maybe, something that I say may just trigger a thought or a feeling in you that you can have an abundant life, that you can view your anxieties differently, that you can know that there is a God who truly loves you.  More than you will ever know.

And over the years of battling my feelings of fear and insecurity, I have learnt one or two things that I would like to share with you.

It may help you.  It may not.  And that’s okay too, because it certainly does help me – and it reminds me of what I need to do when I am feeling anxious.

In my last post, we chatted about anxiety equating to unbelief, or rather a belief in all the horrors that this life has to offer.  Instead of believing the good, you believe the bad – and thereby start expecting bad things to happen.  So, clearly, the first step is to then change what you believe.

And the best way to change what you believe is to start believing in something – or someone.  Becoming a Christian won’t take away anxiety or fear or depression, but it is the first step in believing in a God who only has our best interests at heart, who loves us, who knows the number of hairs on your head.  And even if you never take another step after this, this has to be the most important step to take.  God loves you.  He wants what is best for you.  And battling fear and anxiety isn’t part of His plan.  Taking this first step is acknowledging that your current belief system isn’t working and forming a relationship with God who only wants what is best for you is moving towards changing that belief system.

The second step is to challenge what you currently believe – what thoughts or fears are giving rise to your anxiety?  As Joyce Meyer says, “doubt your doubts”.  And how do we do this?  Well, we go to the source of all truth – God’s word.  Worried about eating or not-eating?  Well, the Bible tells us not to worry about what we will eat or drink.

Do Not Worry

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear.  Is not life more than food and the body more than clothes?  Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them.  Are you not much more valuable than they?  Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?

Worried about finances?  God tells us that He will provide!

Worried about your life?  God has a plan for you.  A plan we can trust, because God says that His plan will give us hope and a future.  You see – trusting God changes our perspective.  When I am feeling anxious, and I do feel anxious often, I can trust God that all will work out – because His word tells me that I can trust the process, that all thing that happen (no matter how bad or awful) will be for my benefit, that He will provide, He will look after me and that I can believe in Him and His word.

It isn’t easy, because there is this expectation that when you become a Christian you shouldn’t feel anxiety or fear.  But, I think that is the devil’s tactic to make us doubt – and when we doubt we open the door for more anxiety and fear to come in.  Being a Christian doesn’t change the fact that this is something we will battle with – what it does do is change our perspective on how we handle it.  We can quite simply, through faith, leave our fears and anxieties to God.

1 Peter 5:7

…casting all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you.

Now that we are walking towards changing our belief system, the next is to talk to yourself.  Yes, talk to yourself.  Saying something like, “really, you’re feeling anxious about this and this?  Well, did you know that God loves you and He didn’t give you anxiety, and that He has a plan that whatever happens, you’ll have the strength to deal with it?” will reinforce a positive belief system.  Constantly reinforce your mind, body and spirit with positive self-talk.  It may feel strange at first, but do it until … well … for always, actually.  There will always be situations that arise in life that will make us feel fearful and insecure and reinforcing ourselves with positive self-talk based on the word of God will certainly help us.

And part of our self-talk needs to include gratitude.  Focus on those things that we are thankful for – no matter how small.  It changes your perspective.  You can’t be grateful for something and angry with something else at the same time.  It shifts your focus from anxiety to gratitude.  And how do you do this when you’re not feeling particularly thankful?  Well, you don’t rely on your feelings – be thankful anyway.

“Lord, I’m not feeling thankful right now, but I know that I am grateful for my husband, my daughter and my job.  Thank you for blessing me with these things.”

It’s changing your perspective.  And it’s changing your belief system – instead of focusing on the negative, you’re focusing on what to be grateful.  So, your belief system in the world being a negative place is being challenged.

So, we’ve started at the point of believing in God who is stronger and more gracious and loves us more than we’ll know.  Then, we challenged our doubts and fears based on the truth of God’s word.  And then we started talking to ourselves – reinforcing positive self-talk using gratitude as a vehicle to do this.

And finally … never, ever give up on yourself.  You ARE worth it.  God never would have sent His son to die for you if you weren’t worth it – unworthy maybe, not worthless.  And if God wouldn’t give up on you – you shouldn’t give up on yourself.  You will experience set-backs.  You will experience days when you think, “shouldn’t I be over this already?”  The battle may go on for years.  But, never give up.

“The secret of life…is to fall seven times and to get up eight times.” -Paulo Coelho

Want to guarantee failure.  Keep on believing that you’re going to fail.

You don’t have to choose defeatist thoughts love. When you notice the failure talk running rampant in your mind, try on one of these beauties instead…

  • I will never give up on myself.
  • I’m worth the work.
  • I’m willing to try.
  • I know this is hard, but I can do hard things.
  • Change isn’t easy, but nothing is harder than staying stuck where you don’t belong.

I personally tried to lose the weight for good twenty, maybe twenty five times before finally succeeding.  Heck, I joined (and quit) Weight Watchers on at least five different occasions.

I want you to know that you can keep trying.  I want you to know that you are worth the effort.  Even if you’ve tried and failed thirty or forty times or FIFTY times…

please, don’t ever give up on yourself.

Reference: http://www.chickadeeweightloss.com

Am I getting this right?  Well, some days more than others.  I’ve just realized that living in fear is no longer an option.  And no matter how much it scares me, I want to grab that abundant life that God has promised me – with my husband and Baby Girl in tow.  I want to embrace it.  And so sometimes I feel terribly anxious and frightened, and other days not so much.  But, I want to walk this walk one day at a time, one step at a time, because I know that with God it will be worth it.  And my husband and daughter are worth it.

And finally – the one thing that wraps all this up and presents it to God and moves God to action on our behalf is prayer.  You’ve got to keep on praying – God will move through the power of prayer.  Even on good day’s pray.  Thank God you’re having a good day.  And on bad days, pray.  Ask God to give you His strength.

Today’s Reading

Good things as well as bad, you know, are caught by a kind of infection.  If you want to get warm you must stand near the fire: if you want to be wet you must get into the water.  If you want joy, power, peace, eternal life, you must get close to, or even into, the thing that has them.  They are not a sort of prize which God could, if He chose, just hand out to anyone.  They are a great fountain of energy and beauty spurting up at the very center of reality.  If you are close to it, the spray will wet you: if you are not, you will remain dry.  Once a man is united to God, how could he not live forever?

From Mere Christianity
Compiled in Words to Live By

Mere Christianity. Copyright © 1952, C. S. Lewis Pte. Ltd. Copyright renewed © 1980, C. S. Lewis Pte. Ltd. All rights reserved. Used with permission of HarperCollins Publishers. Words to Live By: A Guide for the Merely Christian. Copyright © 2007 by C. S. Lewis Pte. Ltd. All rights reserved. Used with permission of HarperCollins Publishers.

She is precious.


I don’t tell Baby Girl all that often that she is beautiful, or wonderful or intelligent, or kind…  Sure, I do use those words sometimes.  But, what I say to her more than anything else is that she is precious.  It doesn’t matter if she is pretty or ugly, fat or thin, clever or not – what matters is that she is precious.  To her father.  To me.  And to her Father in Heaven.  And that she knows that.

She is precious for all the many gifts that God has given her.  She is precious because she is a tiny little person who is growing up in a scary world and needs to be nurtured and looked after and taught the right way to go.

She is precious because of all the love, and laughter and growth she has brought into our lives.

She is precious because she is God’s wonderful and beautiful gift to us – her father and I.

She is precious because of she is fearfully and wonderfully made.

Psalm 139:14 New International Version (NIV)

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

She is precious.  Just because she is…

And when I pray with her at night, I think God for giving us such a precious daughter.  Not because she is talented or kind or beautiful (sure, I think she is all of those things and much more), but because she is a gift.  And if she sees herself as a precious gift – then she will look after herself and allow herself to create a positive world view while growing up.

And I do thank God for her (and my hubby) every day.  They are precious people God has put into my life and I am grateful.

And I pray that God will give hubby and I the grace and the wisdom to parent this precious gift well, so that she will grow up knowing just how precious she is.  If she fails, or falls, or loses her way – she is still precious and in the end, none of that will matter but how precious she is to us.  And to her Heavenly Father.

And I pray for the man that she may one day marry.  That he will honor her and love her and help her to grow into the woman God created her to be, and that she will love him and honor him and respect him.

What a wonderful blessing God has given us in our little Baby Girl…  may she always know that.

You-are-precious